As you are aware, my wife, Rachel, is a LuLaRoe Fashion Consultant. She sells LLR clothing, both online and in person to what I thought were merely awesome customers of fashion. Unfortunately, as time has passed, I have noticed changes in behavior from some shoppers that I find alarming to the point of enrolling in self-defense classes. I have stayed awake many a night wondering if they are simply innocent shoppers or actually… potential perpetrators of violent thuggery.
This whole thought process sprang from various conversations that I have personally overhead during the last couple of weekends. While Rachel was hosting two, separate, in-person LuLaRoe VIP events, the topics of discussion from the ladies who were shopping seemed to occasionally veer from enjoying new styles and patterns to more alarming conversations.
Initially their exchanges would be innocent talk of being present when the latest boxes of LuLaRoe were opened for the first time, always followed by loads of fun laughter. Then inexorably, their conversations would jokingly turn toward various sinister methods of intercepting new LLR inventory from the UPS man (this time it was always followed by low, ominous chuckles, deliberative eyes and then silence… that awful silence). After the awkward few-second hush in the room, the topic would immediately change to how nice of a day it was and the gathering would break up. The first time it was funny, but by the end of the weekend, I was a nervous wreck.
It could be just my vivid imagination, but I thought I heard dialogue envisaging an unexpected knock on the back of a certain person’s head while trying to carry a box of LLR into the house. Then it was agreed that over-powering numbers could easily “appropriate” the Lula loot from a certain person’s porch, whether or not the UPS man was there to help him.
The final straw was the discussion that involved a vehicle full of LLR inventory, an in-home pop-up party, and a certain person driving alone at night on a desolate highway. It did not help that I found a partially erased, small white board that showed where and how to force a certain person’s vehicle off the road with two white vans whose occupants should wear ski masks to hide their identity.
So you tell me… are they simply, innocent shoppers having fun discussions, or is this a prelude to a terrifying experience involving vicious thugs? Whatever it is, I start self-defense classes tomorrow.
Talk with you later!
(Michael Newlon is not a writer, has not written any books, or for any publications, has not won any writing awards, and is not recognized by anyone important in the writing industry. But, he still thinks, “Hot Chili Love!”)
(First published August, 2016 in Let the Good Times Roe Facebook VIP group)